How to Show Support for Loved Ones Who Tell You They Are Suicidal

Night Owl Therapy was inspired by friends in the nightlife industry, and founded in memory of those we've lost. It has been a little over four years since my dear friend Kendall Dewall, a bartender, lost her life to suicide.

With suicide rates rising, why aren't we talking about it more? In 2023, over 50,000 Americans died by suicide, the highest number on record, according to NBC News.

This article aims to start the conversation about how to support loved ones who express suicidal thoughts, in hopes to educate and empower our community to feel better equipped to help.

Understanding the Gravity of Suicidal Thoughts

When a loved one tells you they are feeling suicidal, it can be an overwhelming and frightening experience. However, your reaction and support can make a significant difference. It’s crucial to take these feelings seriously and understand that expressing suicidal thoughts is often a cry for help, not attention-seeking behavior.

Listen Without Judgment

The first and most important step is to listen. Allow your loved one to express their feelings without interrupting or offering immediate solutions. Listening with empathy and without judgment helps them feel heard and understood. Phrases like 'I’m here for you' and 'I care about you' can provide comfort and validation.

Show Compassion and Empathy

Respond with compassion. Acknowledge their pain and reassure them that they are not alone. Avoid saying things like 'You shouldn’t feel this way' or 'Just think positive thoughts,' as these can be dismissive and hurtful. Instead, say, 'I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. How can I support you right now?'

Ask Direct Questions

It might feel uncomfortable, but asking direct questions about their suicidal thoughts can be crucial. Questions like 'Are you thinking about ending your life?' or 'Do you have a plan?' can provide insight into the severity of their situation. This shows that you are taking their feelings seriously and are willing to discuss the difficult topic openly.

Encourage Professional Help

While your support is invaluable, professional help is often necessary. Encourage your loved one to seek help from a mental health professional. Offer to help them find a therapist or counselor and go with them to their first appointment if they are comfortable with that. Organizations like Night Owl Therapy provide resources and support specifically for those in high-stress industries like nightlife.

Stay Connected

Maintaining regular contact is vital. Check in with your loved one frequently, even if it’s just a quick text or call. Consistent communication helps them feel supported and less isolated. Let them know you are always available to talk or spend time together.

Remove Potential Means

If your loved one has mentioned a specific plan to end their life, removing or securing potential means can be a critical step. This might involve taking away firearms, medications, or other items they have mentioned. However, do this in a way that does not make them feel further isolated or distrusted.

Encourage Self-Care

Self-care can play a significant role in mental health. Encourage your loved one to engage in activities they enjoy and find relaxing, whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or spending time in nature. Sometimes, small steps towards self-care can make a big difference in their overall well-being.

Support Groups

Suggesting support groups can also be beneficial. Being around others who understand their struggles can provide a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation. Night Owl Therapy and other organizations offer support groups for various needs, ensuring there’s a place where your loved one can feel understood and supported.

Be Patient

Recovery and improvement in mental health take time. Be patient with your loved one and understand that there will be good days and bad days. Your consistent support and understanding can be a steady source of strength for them.

Take Care of Yourself

Supporting a loved one with suicidal thoughts can be emotionally draining. It’s essential to take care of your own mental health too. Seek support from friends, family, or a counselor for yourself. Remember, you need to be well to provide the best support for others.

Conclusion

Supporting a loved one who expresses suicidal thoughts is challenging but incredibly important. By listening without judgment, showing compassion, asking direct questions, encouraging professional help, staying connected, removing potential means, encouraging self-care, suggesting support groups, being patient, and taking care of yourself, you can make a profound impact on their life. Let's start the conversation and be there for those who need us the most, honoring the memory of those we’ve lost by working to save lives.